The Unexpected Love

There I was, lost forever, trapped in quotidian tasks, commuting office to home, home to office and always engrossed in daily chores of life. I had never done anything out of a box in my life, or never had any nerves to do so. I still remember that day, when as usual after having a hectic day at my office I reached my home. But unlike normal day, I was really tired that day and so the only thing I could see in front of my eyes was a bed. After listening to all the honking of traffic on my way home my head was really heavy and even my eyes were swollen therefore I felt so exhausted that rather than keeping things in place I just dropped my stuff and fell to my bed and in no moment I was in arms of sleep. Suddenly I heard thumping noise of someone shutting the door and it shook me out of my slumber, although still not fully conscious I gathered myself and moved out of my bed with my office clothes still on my body. Still feeling groggy I looked at the wall clock and realized that I dozed off for more than 3 hours.

Suddenly I heard a very dim ringtone of my phone ringing bell but by the time I reached it I missed the call. But looking at my phone I realized that I have not got time in the entire day to check my phone for the mails and notifications. After replying to important mails, I opened my Fb account as I did not want to do anything that night. To my utter surprise, I had this notification for a new friend request and that too from an unknown beautiful girl.  (Now let me explain the gravity of this scenario first, there is a hell lot of difference in FB home page of a girl and a boy. When a girl opens her Fb page she would definitely have 100 notifications of her recent photo being liked not only by friends but by strangers too and above that it really does not matter what the picture is about, it would have numerous praising comments. Apart from this she would have at least 15-20 friend requests from random guys but it is totally the opposite for a boy.)

So the first thought which crossed my mind was that the request is from some hoax profile or any of my friends or cousins is trying to fool me around as I had full confidence on my destiny when it comes to a girl. But still I decided to at least check the profile and I do not why whether it was my hunch or something else I somehow felt that the friend request was from a genuine girl. Now, this is a moment of ecstasy for a guy who has been single throughout his life and could never muster enough courage to approach any of girls in his life. So with a pounce, I accepted the request before the girl might realize her mistake and cancel the request. Full of excitement and eagerness I was sailing on the ship of happiness but did not know to which next quay I should steer my ship. So I decided to wander my mind away from these thoughts by engrossing myself in a book but it was of no use. I was too curious to know about this girl and several questions were floating in my mind. Does she know me?  If not, then why did she send me a request and if yes then how come she is so unfamiliar to me?

Finally, when I was not able to hold my horses, I decide to ping her on messenger. But trust me it was not that easy for me, as being a novice in talking to a girl I had a real struggle even in deciding which word would sound more appropriate “Hey” or “Hi”. Adding to my difficulties was this thought that was constantly pestering my mind “First impression is the last impression”. So I rolled up my sleeves to figure out what would be my first line of conversation via which I could have that first impression on her. But with so many questions buzzing in my mind and not able to find words to subsume each and every feeling of mine, I finally decided to go with simple” Hi”. I thought after sending “Hi” my thirst of eagerness would quench but instead, now I was even more restless constantly checking my phone, again and again, waiting for the reply even though I knew that my phone would beep in case if she would reply. Nevertheless, after waiting for a while when I was about to give up, my phone vibrated and there it was a “Hi”. Though these were only two letters, but I spun the whole world of fantasy out of them. But soon the reality pricked the bubble of my delusional world, and I realized that I have to decide what to write next. I had already utilized every inch of my creativity in writing the first word “Hi” but still gathering the last flickers of my creativity and controlling my nervousness I strangely came out with this “Do I know you because it is really rare that a beautiful girl sends request to a boy”.

The moment the message was sent I realized that not only the message lacked any sort of creativity instead it carried the tone of flirting and superfluous flattery but the arrow was already fired. Keeping my fingers crossed for the reply I was surprised with her response. Instead of replying to my question she herself asked me another question: “Can I know your sister’s name?”  Now, this came out of blue, not able to gauge why she was interested in my sister I literally fumbled with words. But after continuing our chat for some time I got to know that she was looking for some guy who had the same name as mine. He used to live in her locality back in her childhood days and he was sort of her first crush. She could never approach him at that time and after that, they moved to different cities. So in her search operation on Fb for the same boy, she came across my profile and despite being not sure of me she sent me the friend request. As it has been a long time so she does not know anything else about him except his sister name who was her classmate, and therefore she wanted to confirm if I was the same boy she was looking for with the help of a sister name.

Now, this revelation unwrapped the mystery of sister name and unknown friend request for me. It was a mixed bag of emotions for me, I was so happy to know that even in today’s aphrodisiac world there are people out there who believe in first and true love but on the other hand, I was so dejected that I was not the same person she was looking for. I was so mesmerized and enthralled by her persistence to continue her search for such a long time and that too just on the basis of a name (sister’s name). I had never met the girl in person I did not even know her I just had few words with her and that too on messenger, I do not know why but somehow I felt for her. I do not know the reason but in this little conversation itself, I started feeling connected to her. I did not gaze into her beautiful eyes, neither did I hold her hands nor there was any magnetic attraction of her appearance but still, I felt as if I found the missing puzzle of my life. I yearned to be the same boy she was looking for so that I could be a part of her world, I could have her tender feeling which she was having for another person with the same name as mine. For the first time in my life I did not want to be me but someone else instead, I was restless, I could feel my heart thumping and I could not think anything else than this girl.

In the midst of all this turmoil, my phone vibrated again, and there was yet another message from her, “You still there?” I was in life dilemma should I be honest or lie to her, as I really did not want to loose her. My fingers were shivering while holding the phone, repeatedly typing and then deleting not able to decide what should I do?  There was a battle going in between my mind and my heart, but somehow I could not lie to her and with great difficulty I brushed my feelings under the carpet and with a heavy heart told her the truth. Again my phone vibrated and there was the succinct reply: “Oh my mistake, I am so sorry”. I could feel the agony in her words for a futile attempt of seeking her first crush (Mohalle ka Pyaar).  I could empathies with her pain, her glimmering hope of finding him was gone but to my dismay, I could solace her only with my words. After knowing that I was not the one, she tried to leave the conversation but I really did not want her to leave. Despite knowing the reality, somewhere deep down my heart I wished if somehow I could make her realize how I feel about her. But as usual, I had no words to express my feelings, as usual, I was again not able to convey my feelings to a girl. After a brief conversation and stupidly fooling around petty useless talk rather than telling her how I felt for her, she finally said  “Bye”.

Those were the 3 letters which I never wanted to say her but out of no choice I said: “Bye It was a pleasure talking to you”. As it was too late in night I laid down hoping that someday again I would have chat with her and closed my eyes but the thought which came to my mind was

I might not be him

But can I be him

I may not be your first

But can I be your last…..


Humanity- The Linchpin of the World

Savageness is one of the primal instincts of human beings and because of this feral behavior we often clash with each other. The parties involved in skirmishes can be placated if both can be reminded of something they have in common.For instance, two brothers involved in a squabble can be made to give up their fight or ignore petty differences on the pretext that they share the common blood. A common thread(which can be anything blood relationship, language, culture etc.) is the structural condition for the existence of any society. We human beings always try to seek out some common ground in order to feel attached to each other. There has to be something via which we can establish bond or relationship among us. Starting from the lowest echelons of society, the most fundamental common thread for humans is blood relations which bind group of people into a family. It’s the lineage all progeny have in common which gives them the feeling of togetherness. If one member has a fight with another they can be reminded of this very bond in order to pacify both of them. But an only limited number of people can feel associated because of this link as human don’t get to choose their own family and therefore a mostly group of 10-20 people can be the member of the same family. Climbing up the ladder of society, several families living together in vicinity give birth to a tribe which can share the same dialect or tradition. This feeling that they share the same language gives them the reason to be stand united in case they have a clash with another tribe. A tribe is generally an aggregate of 200-300 people but is still limited in scope. We need another thread which can give reason to be united even on much larger scale and hence comes religion into mind. Religion is the next element in the queue which can fetter even larger number of people to feel they have some common ground. All the people under the umbrella of particular religion feel like connected because they all follow a common set of beliefs and ideology. Thus belief in common faith acts as a gel for even a much larger number of people. The next Lego block required to keep intact the society is boundaries of the nation. Boundaries of a nation give its citizen a reason to be united, a common identification and spirit or aspiration of belonging to a nation. Due to one or more than one object factors mentioned above like religion, language, culture etc. there grows in a people a strong feeling of like-mindedness which endows humans with the quality of sticking together. This like-mindedness evokes the feeling of patriotism which is unconditional unbounded love for that very particular common thread binding us in a stack. One could have this love for its religion language culture or nation. One should proudly saunter down the lanes of patriotism but often blindly traipsing these lanes often leads to the dead end of jingoism. Often when nationalism takes the extreme form in any country, it becomes the basis for a world war. For nations at war what could be the binding factor which could be given as a ground to resolve their conflicts? For me, humanity is the only motivation which can bind all the living beings and can even efface the boundaries of the nation. Humanity is the linchpin, which can hold all different spokes be it language, religion, culture or even nations and keep the wheel rolling off. According to Buddhist psychology, most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities. Love and compassion are the moral fabric of world peace. Humanity is the compassion based on altruistic considerations. Humanity is the umbrella under which each and every one of us can get the shelter from the scorching heat of abomination and detestation towards each other. Humanity is the best of all threads which can be obtained from the cocoon and can bind the human being on the largest scale. Thus we should always keep in mind that:
“Our heart should be wide enough to embrace the world and hands should be long enough to encompass the world.”

SOMEDAY….The energy to go on

via Daily Prompt: Someday

The word “Someday” somehow connote optimism and hope. One can not  be sure of when that Someday  would be, it could be within a week , a month or in years. While going through gloomy patchy days in life , even the slightest hope look like light at end of tunnel. We might not know how much we would have to traverse to reach end of tunnel but as long we see glimpse of light we really feel encouraged to continue journey despite of all glitches and bumps on way.No matter what sort of trouble  one is sipping through cup  but this hope that someday he would be emancipated  , someday he would be above sky too gives him the strength to face the chill winds of life.

No matter how bleak are chances  of  this Someday but it  work wonder by making one  look forward each day with new possibilities simply hoping each day to be his crowning day.So the glass could be half empty right now but someday it would be half filled……

Conundrum of Life


 “You live once, but you do it right then once is enough”

The above line of thought really made me ponder, “Is there really a recipe or mantra to live a perfect life?”. The moment I started to traipse on this lane of thought the first thing which struck me is What exactly is life? .Well, the Cambridge dictionary verbatim definition of life is–“the period between birth and death or the experience or state of being alive”. Does being alive or being differentiated from dead suffice enough to understand this esoteric concept. It is really impossible to elaborate life in such vanilla words, as there could be different ways to experience this gift.
Have you ever thought how snapshot is different from fine art photos? The basic difference is simple, a snapshot is not about focusing everything perfectly, rather it is holding onto camera at a funny angle, get funky and avoid symmetry, don’t frame, don’t think, don’t compose. On the other hand, fine art photos are all about composing a photo, organizing the picture, to plan exactly what you want to get under your lens. Both have a different purpose to serve. Similarly, life can either be a snapshot or an art photo. For some strata of bourgeois life is all about planning, organizing, deciding short and long terms goals and to keep tab of even the most trivial aspects of their life. While for others it could be living in the moment or in laymen words to go with the flow. No plan, no schedules, no rehearsal, just ride the roller coaster and travel the unknown roads and let the journey itself decide the destination. The purpose of walking may be to get somewhere else but what makes that journey memorable is not the destination but the landscape one experiences during the journey. We all are in hurry to reach our destination and often found ourselves standing in the fork path in life to make out whether casual or martinet which would better lead us to have a vivid experience of the landscape of our journey.
This catch22 situation bothers everyone at one point in time in their life. If one decides to go by the book, follow stringent timelines, have a plan for everything, keep everything coordinated and in shape than one loses the surprise element in life, the mind becomes rigidly compartmentalized with no room for creativity. While if one follows his heart, take last minute decision and believes in free-flowing philosophy then one often found himself standing on the brink in this cut throat competitive world. It is really difficult to find an antidote to this uncertainty in life.

Globalisation and Jingoism coexist together!!!!

As the Humans escalated the stairs of evolutionary development, they traversed the journey from embryo to homo -sapiens to present intellectual and on this voyage, they adapted their needs and basic instinct to pass the ramrod of natural selection (survival of the fittest). After fulfilling the most rudimentary and fundamental need of food clothing and shelter, the ambit of desires grew to connect to share views, technology on a large scale beyond the boundaries of a particular demographic area. This void gave birth to the concept of “Globalization” i.e. the international integration of global economy.
With the passage of time and looking into future aspect many civilizations decided to board the ship before they were left behind in the race. As the result the world saw a free flow of ideas, cultural aspect and workforce across the globe skyrocketing the trade and generation of ample employment opportunities. Nothing comes free of cost similarly globalization too had its price. Human-being the wittiest animal and the longest to survive the “natural selection” can and would do anything for its survival. As the globalization hold its grip tight on the international economy it led to the feeling of insecurity because of several aspects, but among them, job lost due to structural changes being the most critical one. Soon the Coterie within boundaries started feeling that their piece of bread is being snatched away from them and given to someone else. The people within boundaries started feeling left out and saw immigrants trespassing on their rights and this led to the emergence of “jingoism”.
Even the countries considered to be an epitome of cosmopolitan culture, embracing diversity with the open hands are now facing the heat of globalization. Bre-exit campaign, the result of USA presidential election and inclination of people towards far right parties in various countries reflect the mood of the proletariat. Nobody knows what future holds for humanity but the journey we have embarked upon truly mocks the believer and founder of utopian society. Although jingoism has been one of an unwanted product of globalization but we cannot go backward. Advancement of globalization is inevitable.